The Corporate Vampire
What do we consider to be the image of today's vampire? Do we envision all vampires as goths or mosh-pit regulars? Going around with black eye-liner, dyed hair and extreme clothing and base-jumping off high tower blocks?
Okay, maybe, because the whole vamp/goth thing seems to go rather well together, heck, even I dress like that sometimes. But that's not what I am going to talk about today. Today's topic is Corporate Vampires. Now, I am not talking about your manager or human resources department, although in terms of blood-sucking they could probably give us real vamps a run for money. No, this is the corporate vampire, the vampire who may, in the evenings dress strange and go out to clubs but in the daytime wears a suit and holds down a day job. Yes, we do exist. We wear suits, attend meetings, sometimes even command staff of our own. Yet, we are also vampires.
So, I hear you ask, what are the rules of a corporate vamp?
First rule, if you are at all sensitive to the sun, find a job with lots of artificial lighting and few windows. IT is perfect for this, most programmers don't see daylight for years anyway, and most people assume that if you are a pasty-faced individual with an aversion to sunlight (that evil daystar) that you are some kind of geek anyway..
Second rule, dress normal for where you work. If their dress code demands suits, wear suits. They are generally all black anyway and turning up in your 'I poke badgers with spoons' T-Shirt will only cause trouble. Save that one for casual day. Likewise for extreme piercings/tattoos etc. Try not to show them off, whipping out your wang in the middle of the office to show everyone your prince albert will not go down well. Save that one for the office xmas party.
Third rule, be very careful what you talk about. Telling your co-workers that you are a vampire will probably lead to some kind of abuse, if not downright ridicule. And may end up with you having a rather unpleasant 'talk' with your HR department...
Fourth rule, no matter how poor your performance review, do not rip out your manager's jugular. This is considered very poor manners. Not to mention the mess it'll make of the conference room.
Fifth rule, if you get peckish for some blood go out for lunch and have a very rare steak. Having the person next to you chow down on a raw, dripping piece of meat can put a lot of your co-workers off their lunch, if not actually induce projectile vomiting. Drinking bloodwine at your desk is also considered a bad move as many companies have a no-alcohol policy.
Sixth rule, Although it is extremely tempting when you can't keep your eyes open, it is still considered bad form to drain off someone else's energies during a long boring meeting.
Now, with all this, you may be thinking 'wow, with all that, what's so brilliant about being a corporate vampire?'. Hah! Simple answer - the money. And it is entirely possible to arrange all this, leaving your co-workers with only the impression that you are somewhat of an individual, but not that you are one of the original predators. So next time you are at a job interview and are feeling nervous about how you are going to cope with your cravings in an office, just look at the person interviewing you. It's quite possible she is a vampire too. Join us, be a Corporate Vamp.
Written By: The Watcher...Thanks My Friend
Vampires; A Genetic Theory
Much has been theorised about the development and history of vampires. Do they exist, what powers do they have and where does one acquire vampirism?
For the record, yes I believe vampires exist. They are in modern society and can be anybody, from the corporate worker to the student, from the shipyard worker to the politician. What I want to write about here is my theory of how vampiric traits are acquired.
The usual vampire has the traditional senses (i.e. those of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch) at a higher operating level than those of ‘normal’ humans, but what really sets them apart is the increased ESP (extra-sensory perception), which varies in manifestation from individual vampire to the next. A strong empathic sense (the ability to sense other’s emotions) is quite common, some vampires also display a very strong telepathic sense (ability to read other’s thoughts). Now these traits have one primary usage –the acquisition of prey. Because vampires are predators and they are predators after the most cunning species of all – man. Is it any wonder that these abilities are needed?
But where did all these abilities come from? In all of us lies our DNA (deoxyribosenucleicacid), which is the genetic building block for practically all of what we are. I believe that this must contain the answer to why vampires exist.
Human DNA is a highly complex series of instructions, what is puzzling to modern scientists is not all of this ‘code’ is used. A lot of it is completely inactive. The reason for this inactive code is ancestral DNA. We contain a lot of genes and gene structure(called operons) that were needed back in our very distant past, but are no longer relevant to us. For example, in our distant history we had tails. We no longer have these but we DO have the code for them in one form or another. There are literally thousands of instructions that we carry that in a normal life would never be switched on.
But in the case of vampires, I believe that some instructions have been switched on. This could be due to a number of different factors. The gene sequences that switch on these latent genes could be inherited from the family line, also the genes could mutate into an active form. There is, after all, plenty of external factors in this day and age that cause gene mutation.
If you look at vampiric abilities from a Darwinian point of view (survival of the fittest) they make a lot of sense. Heightened senses enable you to capture more prey with less risk to yourself. And for early man, blood from other men would be an extremely good food source. It’s rich, laden with fat and calories and would provide an early human with a meal far better than the roots and animal flesh that the other’s were eating.
So why did they become so rare? Well, basically they didn’t provide so much of an advantage any more. Man became more intelligent and developed tools for hunting which equalised a lot of the natural advantages a vampire had. The ability to use tools to bring down larger game and the development of farming meant that the most advantageous food source no longer became the blood of others. And so the vampires lost their abilities.
But the code remained. And in some people today, this code is still active, providing the world once again with the most cunning predator it has ever seen.
Written by: The Watcher
Hades of Methrilon's ramblings for dealing with blood lust.
Blood lust is basically a hunger feeling and though this hunger is not entirely of the physical kind it does bare similarities to it and thus in these similarities might a few means be found to deal with it, though of course none of these tips will every replace good fresh human blood. Also keep in mind that these tips do not work for everyone.
The obvious choice would be to replace human blood by animal blood. Do not go feeding of some random animal; such blood can contain harmful parasites and such. One could try draining the blood from a raw steak, the most effective way of doing this is putting it in a food processor and mincing it up till it's as minced as it will get, then take it out and squeeze it out in a sieve or something like that. Do not try this with any raw minced meat (hamburger meat) it can contain E. Coli in dangerous amounts, people have died of eating raw minced meat.
Another way would be getting blood from a butcher. Jewish or Muslim butchers drain the blood from meat so that would be a good place to ask. The best excuse is if you need one, that you are making blood pudding, a traditional dish. After all no need to tell the butcher you are a vampire. The blood acquired in such a way is most likely safe to drink, though one can always cook or bake it to be sure, though this will have an effect on its taste. Never leave the blood standing, if you want to keep it put it in a fridge and if you want to keep it for more then a day I advice putting it in a freezer. Old blood can turn vile quite easily and become deathly to drink.
Drinking ones own blood might still the cravings for a short while, but in general this isn't all that effective as one gains nothing by feeding on oneself, say for the taste of the blood in ones mouth.
Another good way is to keep your stomach filled. One could of course do this with food, but this could lead to overeating which would be somewhat counter productive. The best things to use for this are liquids, especially those with some substance to them. Fruit juice is especially useful for this, a nice thick tomato juice or orange juice can help still that hunger quite effectively. Also canned beef broth or bouillon works quite well, however do not use the cube form of it; those consist out of mostly salt. Also keeping something in the mouth to suck on, like mints or such candy seems to still milder cravings.
Warm water with lots of salts seems to help as well, though I haven't tried this myself and I'm guessing the awful taste will keep ones mind of the cravings more then any blood replacing value of the drink itself.
There are plenty of recipes on the internet that would make good blood substitutions, but most of these have at their base either a high on sugar drink, tea, beef broth or animal blood at base ingredient, with the rest serving to give it some sort of taste that the maker of the recipe finds pleasant. It's really just a matter of a bit of self experimentation to make one of your own liking.
Finally there is one last thing to add. Often will one find online the advice to take vitamins, mostly in liquid form, to still blood lust and often these are part of blood substitution recipes. It is fine to add some, but be careful, one can overdose on vitamins. To much of a good thing can do quite some harm. If you want to know how much of a certain vitamin one can take, just look in the instruction leaflet that comes with the vitamins.
written by; Hades of Methrilon...
(or "Were goest thou, beautious stranger?")
So you woke up one morning and there, standing before you in the mirror is the same person you've been staring at for.... HOW many years? But lately something's bothering you... You dont' look any different, not really. You feel pretty good. But... something doesnt' seem right....
You scrutinize the person in the mirror, in minute detail. You see all the flaws and all the things that have drove you crazy for years. You see the same hair and the same eyes... or are they? its tough to pin point, but SOMETHING is different. Or, maybe the tip off is that you're over 40 and NOTHING really IS different! How very odd!
I remember when people started to admire the fact that my looks have never really changed. I can't even tell you how many old friends have walked up to me and told me that I haven't changed since I was 19 years old. they are wrong, of course. I've changed a lot! But, if you haven't seen me in years, you wouldnt' know that. I dont' remember who first pointed out to me, that I came to a point where I stopped looking older and settled into what I look like now. I think I was going through some family albums just before my mother died. My sister pointed out that I look better than I did 10 years ago... I thought about it a lot, for a week or so, then I came to my puter and started comparing pictures of myself, stored on my dusty hardrive... It was true. I've changed, but I haven't. I DO look better than I did 10 years ago. In fact, I look younger! How very very odd!
Its not, you understand, that I haven't changed over the years. I'm an older vampyre. I've been drinking blood for over 25 years. In fact at this stage of my life, its my primary source of sustanence. At 14 years old, I looked 20.(never got ID'd drinking underage in bars). By the time I was 20, I'd already lived a hard life and my eyes showed it. I was never ugly... but I looked worn, sometimes. Pregnancy didnt' agree with me... I gained a LOT of weight in the course of bearing 4 children. My skin stretched, I got a few wrinkles under my eyes, from lack of sleep and crying all the time as two marriages fell apart over the course of 20 years. I thought I was aging, and not even very gracefully!
Then something odd happened to me. I went through about 3 years of being very sick. I looked TERRIBLE! I had problems with my lungs, i had problems with my heart. Every muscle in my body hurt, all the time. I had two heart attacks, in a 6 month period. I thought i was going to die! Then, when I was sure i would rather be dead, than alive and live like this any longer, it just stopped. I got better.
One day, some time ago, I went to the mirror to get ready to go out for an evening and realized... something was different.
I looked Ok. I decided to skip most of the complicated makeup ritual I usually went through. My skin looked fine. A bit of eyeliner, some lipstick for my always pale lips... perfect.
I started losing wieght. Not a bit at a time... a LOT, and at once! In a matter of months I lost over 40lbs. I started to feel good! Ok... something is DEFINATELY up! I realized that, when I was working as a barmaid and 22 year old guys were suddenly trying to take me home. I had to produce ID on three occassions in one month to convince young men that I was old enough to be their mommy!
So I started to wonder if other vampyres went through this....
We dont' talk about it much, 2nd stage vampyrism. a few years ago, it was one of those things NO ONE discussed. But I started asking around and was BLOWN AWAY by the number of similar experiences among vamps in my age group.
What was happening to us? I can't even begin to tell you how amazed I was... My aging had changed!
Its not as easy as you might think to get used to it. I had a well established concept of who I was and what I look like. It changed. Pleasantly, but a change, non the less. It took a while to get used to it.
These days I've learned to like it, love it and take FULL advantage of it. I combine it with Vampyric Charm, to get what I want, and I combine it with magik, when charm fails. I can attract almost anyone in a room, using my gifts and intuition. And even though a few years have passed, I've seen no signs that I'm aging much at all... in fact... I'm STILL improoving in strenth and stamina, and the speed of my brain functions.
So its not all bad news! Being a vampyre is full of surprises, and not ALL of them are bad. Just be prepared for it. I'd have gotten through this much more easily if I hadn't thought I was losing my mind! IF you're going through it, and you're tempted to check yourself into a sanitarium, Don't. You're fine. If you go through 2nd stage or Vamp menopause, as we fondly call it, (we know that not ALL vampyres go through this and or subsequent stages) its gonna happen to you .
Its one of those wonderful vampyric coping mechanisms that help us Thrive.